Good evening people,
Have you ever thought about body acceptance instead of body positivity?
Have you ever understood how ingrained some mentalities are in our heads? Or maybe have you ever realized how big those consequences can be? How they can impact your life, wellness?
Perhaps the answer is "yes", perhaps is not. Anyway, I invite you to read this interesting interview with Pauline from @Bonjourmoncorps.
Mathilde: "Who is hidden behind Bonjourmoncorps?"
Pauline: "I'm Pauline, I'm 28! I'm in charge of communication in an Indoor Architecture & Real Estates Agency. I studied communication & event, but my life has changed quite often. 2 positions in the event sector, two posts in the recruitment sector, and now I'm back in the communication sector. I'm very much my feelings. "
Alongside, I created Bonjourmoncorps a year and a half ago. At first, it was just an Instagram account, but today, it's a set of advice throughout some posts, articles, inspiring women portraits, a free ebook, a YouTube channel, and so much more to come! I try to give as many pieces of advice as possible to help women be in peace with their bodies.
Mathilde: "What's your objective throughout your Instagram account?"
Pauline "After having suffered from eating disorders for almost 10 years & after a huge psychological snap, I decided to learn to accept my body rather than wasting my time destroying it. However, I didn't really know how to do it, so the journey was quite long. Thus, I decided to create the account I would have loved to discover when I was looking for answers at that moment. This account is there to reconcile women with their bodies, but also a bit for me, to keep going towards this acceptance journey I've taken 4 years ago, which does me so much good! "
Mathilde "If you could change society's standards, what would you do?"
Pauline "Without a doubt, I would delete all the daily injunctions towards the body.
Either towards women & men, towards thin or curved bodies, towards small or tall people. Everybody deserves to have some complexes, no matter our sizes. But it would be better if no seeds were ingrained in our heads making those complexes arise. When we are young, we do not have any trouble running topless with our friends on the beach. Yet, barely at 10 years old, it can already become a challenge to wear a swimsuit! And this did not happen by magic. If we would stop repeating some "you should", "you're not enough", or "you're too much"... we would learn better to know ourselves rather than learning to shape our body depending on the ideal body, which is so questionable... "
Mathilde "Is there anything you don't disclose on social media? #onveutduvrai"
Pauline "I try to share a maximum. In stories, I can show myself without any makeup, with pimples, we can also see my stretch marks, bulges, or simply my skin. But I think the only thing I don't really show is my private life with my relatives. Even if I'm totally transparent with my body relationship, my story, my image,... I like keeping this aspect of my life for me."
Mathilde: "Are you for or against esthetical surgery?"
Pauline: " I can hardly be against knowing that I had a breast reduction when I was 19. Honestly, this is for me the first step toward body acceptance. After the surgery, the journey was quite long because it was clearly not a "magic" surgery but a real first step. I always had the same speech, if a woman wants to change her body, I will never tell her to not do it. but rather to think about the reasons pushing her to do so. Once she is 100% sure that she wants it only for herself, she will have 100% reasons to do it. Her body, her choice J."
Mathilde: "Do you think body acceptance troubles hit women more than men? If so, why?"
Pauline: "Tough question! I don't really want to hierarchy this problem because lots of men suffer from it as well. Simply, a man will speak about it with more difficulty than a woman will. The injunctions are well present as well they're simply "different". I regularly hear an acquaintance friend telling his partner that he has gained weight and that he should lose some. The injunctions can come from both sides and they can be hard to handle on daily basis.
So to answer this question, I'd say that injunctions towards women are more numerous, but either for women or men, it can be hard to live with."
Mathilde: "Any advice to share to be able to accept ourselves more easily? A routine? Some references?"
Pauline: "The first advice is to learn to know yourself. When we fall in love with another person, we learn to know him before. Here, we ask to love ourselves, to be self-confident without really knowing who we're. First, learn to know what really pleases you, what are your needs, your desires, your motivations, your beliefs... and not the ones of your surroundings. Learn to be really you and 100% honest with yourself. I wouldn't like to be in a relationship with someone who is lying to himself because he would probably lie to me as well. Yet, I was this person for years.
I also give some pieces of advice & references in my free ebook on the website & on YouTube.
Mathilde: "A message you would like to leave?"
Pauline: "Yes! For this beginning of the year: choose yourself! No need to have good resolutions because most of them are made up by magazines...
This year, be your own priority. On a plane, the air hostesses tell you to put on your oxygen mask first before taking care of the others because if you don't take care of yourself first you won't be able to take care of the other after.
Make yourself your own priority, this is absolutely not selfish, but vital!
I'd like to thank Pauline for her precious point of view and her presence on LiveMyWay. I hope you enjoyed the reading, please feel free to leave a comment. :)
Have a lovely evening,
PS: French version here.